Alrighty, let’s let the cat out of the bag.

By the way, if the cat is in the bag, what do you notice?

Not much. Maybe some movement, maybe not, but it’s pretty vague isn’t it?

What we’re going to EXPLORE is richness versus reactionary.

This is really important. If I get to write a few things down, maybe I will or maybe some of you will make some infographics we can share on the group like let the cat out of the bag or richness versus reaction.

REACTIONARY MODE IS ADDICTION

See, when I notice people are in reactionary modes, it literally goes back to those addictions. There’s a harsh… something that happens and then there’s the harsh stories around it, what keeps repeating that addiction.

On the other hand, let’s talk about richness.

Richness of experience seems to me… and richness of imagination, which leads to richness of experience, seems to me to come through those four pillars of power, those four happy chemicals, and I really want to dive into them today because we’ve woven them into all the lessons, and I really want to make sure that we have them everywhere.

These are endorphin, oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin.

You see, they all have motivators. By the way, this is really, really cool. Endorphin, at a very basic level, masks physical pain. It’s also the feeling of being alive. It’s what happens when you take risk. It’s what happens whenever…

• Watch a rockstar.
• Listen to some loud music.
• Get a massage that involves some physical contact.
• Do something risque or risky.

Okay? Endorphin. Oh my god, it is… I notice too many people don’t have it. Again, they’re seeking calm. They’re avoiding risk or risque. Let you out. Okay? We’ve got to start there.

The second one, this is so good. Oxytocin.

Oxytocin has us experience and seek alliances, fellowship, cuddles, being held, physical contact, intimacy. I know some people don’t like it.

They do their best to avoid it and they wonder why they have so many problems.

You see, you don’t avoid richness of experience. You see, I knew a fellow back in the States. He avoided richness of experience in that area.

He was a numbers guy.

He had a lot of money, but he had no richness of experience. He didn’t feel connected to anyone, and we had him explore that. Notice… Well, let’s just keep going for now.

The next one, dopamine.

That’s about anticipating reward. Why is it the kids play games for hours, and hours, and hours just to get points, badges, new levels, discover a new maze?

Dopamine, we’re seeking rewards, and again, dopamine is really fun. Think foreplay.

Dopamine. I see online there are these little contests that you can spend like 5 or 10 bucks on, and you’re guaranteed to be a winner of something, but you don’t know what, so there’s that anticipation of, “What am I going to win?” not just, “If I’m going to.”

Think Vegas, by the way, if you want to go in a weird direction with this.

Finally, serotonin, the status one.

It really helps if you’ve got status in the tribe, if you’ve got status in your life.

Even if you get enough… By the way, one of the things you’re going to notice is they’re almost all found upon in society in one way or the other.

• Don’t be risque.
• Don’t take risks.
• Right? Mellow as jello.
• Right? People try to be cool.

Of course. Who’s the coolest ones? Okay. I look online, and when people do cool things like they fly around in wing suits and stuff, this extreme stuff or skateboarders, it’s like, “Wow, cool.” Right?

There’s some intensity. There’s aliveness there. Right? Explore this. By the way, do some risque and risky stuff in life.  

You’re going to be really glad you have oxytocin.

• Give a cuddle.
• Accept a cuddle.

It’s interesting. In the States, we didn’t use the word like we do in Australia.

When I bump into my buddy, Mike, it’s, “Hey, man. Give me a cuddle.” In other words, “Hey, let’s give a hug.” Yeah, not just a handshake or something. An actual cuddle.

Right? A little like… Just a hug like… I noticed when I was a young fellow teaching martial arts, it was permissible to…

If I had a young fellow, a guy or a girl, do good in class, I’d walk up and just rub their head real quick, give them a cuddle to feel good about that, and that’s frowned upon now.

Don’t touch!

I mean, you can say, “You did a good job, son,” but it doesn’t do the same as just grabbing them by the head or the shoulder and giving them a squeeze. Play with more squeezes in your life.

How can you give and get more of those?

Be the kitty.

We did a little exercise in one of the live calls about being the kitty, and when I decide I’m the kitty, people touch me. I love being touched, and I love touching people, and we’ll explore that in some cool ways too. By the way.

You can touch with your eyes.

Don’t just look at people. Touch them with your eyes. Discover how to do that. If you want to help with that, bring it up in a live call.

Finally, the serotonin one.

It’s all right to have status. It really is, but we live in a culture, which again, says it is BAD.

“The the pride cometh before the fall.”

Fascinating. Just utterly fascinating to me. How can you bring status into your life? How can you treat yourself like you deserve it instead of being the last one on the list?

Because the captain has status.

When the captain comes on the airplane, everyone knows who he is, and the captain, he doesn’t go…

• “Oh, no. No, not me. I’m going to play the humble route.”
• “No, don’t call me captain. I consider my opinion with yours.”

Know the captain drives the bus.

Right? The captain flies the plane. You want him to fly the bus. You want him to fly the plane. Unless you can explore and accept status in your own life, you’re not going to be able to drive your own bus all that well, all that effectively.

Let’s talk about letting the cat out of the bag.

You ever notice a cat stretch? When a cat stretches, it literally holds its breath for a little bit and just, “Ah.” When it goes through those motions, it’s not like a runner stretching.

When a cat stretches, it literally moves its body through a sine wave, and I want you to think of these as a sine wave.

We’ll show a little bit of this on the video when I make the video for this, but I want you to think of these as a sine wave, and if you only have one out of the four bits of a sign wave, you’ve got a jaggedy wave, and I want you to have full expressed waves in your life.

I want you to notice how Neville wove these in congratulatory conversations.

That gives you some oxytocin, some fellowship. Your people have not abandoned you.

Serotonin, the same thing. Your friends look up at you because you’ve done something well. “Twenty, how do you do it? I admire what you do.”

Nothing wrong with that, but we frown upon it in this culture. If you get beyond that… By the way, I want you to think of some things, and I’m not anti-culture.

What I am is anti-mediocrity. What I am is anti-conformity for the sake of conforming.

We live in a culture where almost nobody has a dream-driven day, and they tell you, “Don’t talk to strangers. Don’t touch anyone. Don’t even touch your your friends.” Right? Versus, “Give me a cuddle.” Oxytocin.

Culture says…

“Don’t take risks or be risque.”

Heck, I wear scarves in the summertime. Everybody knows me at the shops, and it’s not because I wear scarves at the summertime. It’s because I have that endorphin.

I am loud!

I will holler at people from across the way to say hi to touch them. Yeah, so that loudness, that endorphin, which I can use that loudness that I am in order to reach out and actually touch someone from across the store, that Oxytocin.

The dopamine (anticipation of).

• Who else is going to look?
• What will they say?

Someone will look at me a little odd. (And I’ll approach them and say…

“Hey, cool man. That’s just a buddy that I love. You know what that’s like when you just love someone?”

Next thing you know, a conversation is opened up, by the way, but the DOPAMINE is, “Will they reject me or not?”

Oh my god. How much fun is that? Let someone walk away from me. They’ll still be better off because I was more alive than they were, and I invite them to that.

Finally, serotonin. Gosh, people all the time will introduce me to people. “I was just telling my buddy about you. He’s got to meet you.”

The new guy that just took over the Liquorland here… I went in and introduced myself, and I was buying something. He goes, “Oh, they told me I’d meet you.

Yeah, cool.” You get it? Looking forward. Well, the status part. Yeah, yeah. I’m a distinguished customer just because I’m alive and I love people. You get it?

Play with these four. Think of these four as parts of the sine wave. I’ll show that. Also, think of these four as the four stretchers.

Yeah. If you imagine one in each corner and they pull out far away from each other, literally, this is like stretching a sail.

It’s like stretching a map, and the more it stretches, the more territory you have, the more wind you can put in your sails, but if you have one of these that you’re really not tapping into…

You know I’m uncomfortable with loud.

I used to be that way. I used to be uncomfortable with touch, the oxytocin. I mean, like I’d only like…

Oh, my mom could hold me or my grandma, but she died. Now, there’s only one. Scared to touch people when I was younger.

Serotonin, I didn’t have any status. Cathy Nezgoda got the A’s. I got the A-minuses. I could never be Cathy, my mom said.

That just put me in a little depression.

The whole thing of like taking risks and being risque, wow.

When I was in my twenties and I got into the woods thing, I’d run around covered.

Literally, I was the nudist in the woods that nobody saw. I was good at hiding, and camouflage, and moving around, and touching deer. I got to learn how to move through the woods with nothing more than me in a loincloth the best. Again, it was risque. It was risky, but God, it kept me alive, and it kept me aware.

It gave me that endorphin in a way that nothing else did at the time.

That also got me out of PTSD, by the way. PTSD, think about it.

Shock, shock, shock, shock, relive, relive, relive, relive, isolate, hide versus all of these. It took me out of the trauma and brought me back to life.

That took me from being a reaction and brought richness in.

That’s what this lesson is all about, the four riches, so go to the group. Have some fun. Play with how you can bring these into your life. Ask questions in the group if you want to.

By the way, you notice the group allows a couple of these things to happen?

Oxytocin, the fellowship of the group.

Serotonin. You can see… Not only can you be a leader in your own life, you can be a leader in the group if you wish.

You can explore that not just for the being a leader’s sake, but you notice what happens when somebody posts something good and a couple people say, “I love your insights.”

Boom, that’s a good feeling. It’s good to feel good because you’re blessing. You get it?

Dopamine, I wonder who’s going to post next, what the reply to that’s going to be.

Oh my god, this is good. I can’t wait. Let me tune back in. Tune back in next time.

Of course, the endorphin. Stretch risk. Share a little bit about you. Do a comfort challenge and share what happens when you do those.

Let the cat out of the bag.

Now, let’s do the twist. Ready?

People are shooting for a perfect life. (Skip that.)

Right? Perfect, right? “Oh, this would make life perfect.” That’s all think-a-do, but when you let the cat out of the bag, when you experience the four parts, the wave fully, whenever the sail is fully stretched, that’s richness.

Will life be perfect?

You’re always going to have speed bumps and traffic. We’ve talked about that, but god, having… Ugh. See, I can’t wait to discover who do I see at the shops. Maybe The Donna. Whoa! See ya.